Perashat Vayishlah 5779

Perashat Vayishlah 5779

When we think of war, we rarely think of family. Yet that is exactly the circumstance Yaakob finds himself in. Torn between the desire to protect his family and retain his moral peaceful self Yaakob is plagued by contradictory feelings. 

“Vayeera Yaakob Meod Vayetzer Lo”, "And Yaakob was very frightened and he was distressed..."

Rashi says he was very frightened that he would be killed, and he was distressed that he might kill others.

This was not his way, and even with the best justification it still bothered him. But there is a word in Rashi's explanation that always irked me: Acherim, others. Was Yaakob only worried he'd have to kill others? Was he not worried that he would have to kill Esav?

The Vilna Gaon gives a breathtaking answer. The clue is in that word, Acherim, others.
 
In the Talmud and Mishna there are many well known scholars. Perhaps one of the most well known was R' Meir. We are taught, Stam Mishna, Rebbi Meir, any Mishna without a named author came from R' Meir. So we can identify R' Meir's teachings in two ways: texts that use his name, as well as texts that are not named. However, there is a third name used for R’ Meir: Acherim. Texts that identify the author as, "Others say...", are also attributed to R' Meir. 

The Talmud says that R’ Meir was the descendant of converts. Can you guess from whom? Esav! R' Meir's forbearer was none other than a Roman general from Edom, a nation descending from Esav. 

The Vilna Gaon says that Yaakob was worried that on the one hand he would die, and on the other hand, that the only alternative to death was to kill Esav to survive. Killing Esav might have meant that Yaakob would kill off the possibility of Acherim being born, and the Jewish people having the Mishna as we know it! The Mishna is crucial to the Jewish peoples' spiritual survival. 

What a distressing thought. The price of their physical survival now might be their spiritual survival later!

This made me think deeply about our actions and their long-term ramifications. An act done a millennium prior results in something happening that shouldn't, or vice versa. Sometimes, like the 50 cents it costs to use the binoculars at the top of the Empire State Building, looking into the distance doesn't cost very much, but boy is it worth it.

When we think of war we rarely think of family. Sometimes the reason why we are at war today is because we didn't see them as family back then.

Psychologists today are showing us how impactful experiences had as a child have the most profound and far-reaching implications on our adult life. It can make the difference as to whether we buy into trust, loyalty, love, forgiveness, patience and a litany of other behaviors that shape our everyday existence. Remember that inspiring teacher who changed the way you saw the world just by switching the lights on? Or the first time your boss gave you a big responsibility, illustrating their confidence in your ability to get the job done? They can make us feel like we can achieve more than we thought possible, and that feeling snowballs into other areas of life creating a ripple effect of positive energy. We can hold on to these moments for years, either for the good or for the bad. This should be part of our decision-making process. We should consider not just what happens in the immediate aftermath of a directional decision, but what will the long-term effects of this decision be? Sometimes something that seems like a no-brainer at the moment can be anything but that when seen through a wider lens. The biggest cost of giving a child whatever they want is not the ticket price we pay now; it is the character price we pay later.

We may not have Yaakob's prophetic abilities to peer into the very distant future, but we do have the ability to see further than right now. Using that ability is a crucial key to getting it right. 

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Shlomo Farhi