Yom Kippur Message 5780

Yom Kippur Message 5780

Yom Kippur. The words alone cause an involuntary shudder to ripple through my body. After all, who likes to be reminded again and again that they've slipped up, tripped up and messed up? It seems from the prayer service that the only thing I haven't done consistently is measure up!
No wonder fewer people are engaging every year in the service. If they don't speak Hebrew they don't know what's flying, and if they do, they feel even worse! Our self-esteem is low enough as it is, thank you very much! We don't like or need this extra large helping of guilt.
But there is a secret about Yom Kippur of which many people simply aren't aware, a secret so powerful that if whispered in our ears would transform and elevate our whole experience. I'd like to share it with you, so listen closely.

Ruppik Moy.
That's the secret.

All this time, we've been getting Yom Kippur backwards. Let me explain.
Have you ever wondered, Why can't I eat? What's wrong with me wearing my leather shoes or engaging in marital relations, using lotions or taking a shower? What does ANY of that have to do with being forgiven or gaining atonement?
The truth is, very little. It's about something else completely. Yom Kippur is a complete reboot of the way we see ourselves.
We aren't puny beings who flop helplessly around, bumping into various things in the confused darkness we call life, enjoying the occasional victory amid a plethora of setbacks and letdowns.

That's just what we DO. It is most certainly not who we ARE.

We ARE sublime, powerful beings, who can choose to be extraordinary. Imbued with an infinite soul, a divine spark, we CAN push ourselves to the limit and make courageous choices that are extremely difficult, choices that while just and righteous, are simultaneously painful and challenging.

And sometimes we actually do exemplify that greatness. Sometimes.

Sometimes we glimpse the extraordinary self that we are capable of being, and as hurriedly as it shows itself, it disappears.

Sometimes
...when we exhibit patience, even when we feel like being abrupt, which would have been easier and quicker.

...when we choose to help the poor although we might not be so much better off ourselves or could have used that extra money for selfish purposes, which would have been more comfortable and immediately rewarding.

...when we choose to rise above and turn away when being put down, even though it would have been easier to snap back and tear the other in two with an insult, a post or a 'reply all' email.

...when we choose to put ourselves through rigorous, draining and expensive years of study and eventually fill important jobs in society in medicine, law, finance or the non-profit sector, even though we fancied short term gratification in the form of traveling, music festivals and partying.

So we CAN be bigger, better, impressive Human Beings. But sometimes we just don't. WHY?

I think it's partially our own fault, for accepting and tolerating a narrative that paints Human Beings as fragile wisps of smoke, beings whose psyche and existence is so precarious and so dainty that a harsh glance, a word, anything really, is enough for us to be blown away and dissipate into nothingness. It's partially our fault for believing that we can't control ourselves and that we will falter at every stumbling block and fall into every trap.
"What can we do? That's how we are!"
ENTER YOM KIPPUR, where G-d in Heaven judges us, as the giants we could be. We are told again and again, not that we are bad or horrible, but that we are BETTER than this. He takes us to task for the self that we cannot see, but that He sees in us, the me and you that He believes in, and has granted life anew to, year after year, as He patiently waits for it to emerge, blinding us with our own magnificent light.

So for one day, G-d commands us to play the part. BE the person that doesn't succumb to their temptations. SHINE in a way that those who aren't held hostage by petty desires do. YOU ARE vastly more than you realize, perhaps even more than you've dreamed possible!

Just for today, comfort, fashion or the craving for intimacy and companionship will NOT rule your agenda, and soft skin will plummet from your list of top priorities.
And then, sometime during this long day, it hits us, like a ton of bricks. Without all these distractions, what motivates me? What DOES drive my life plans? If we took comfort, gluttony, desire, ego, and power off the table, is there anything left?
There should be! There could be! And dare I say it, without those distractions,
there WOULD be!

Because we ARE sublime, powerful beings, who can choose to be extraordinary.

So maybe this year, instead of only focusing on what we did wrong, what we didn't do, sinking and often drowning in that guilt and regret, maybe we should spend a bit more time thinking of what we COULD be.
If we believed in our YOM KIPPUR selves, courageous, brave, willing to admit mistakes, not bound by all the myriad things that hold us back and make us feel, think and act small, and having glimpsed that dream, we could turn to G-d with half a rueful smile and say, "We get it. We admit it. We ARE capable of so much more. Give us one more chance". 
And then we confidently march back into the year to do battle with the ghosts of Yom Kippurs past and see our limitations as G-d given challenges meant to help us rise up and BE.

May Hashem smile on our efforts and write us evermore in the Book of Real Life.

Tizku Lshanim Rabot! Gmar Chatima Tova!
Shana Tova,
Rabbi Shlomo Farhi